My Anit-Bucket List| Basically nonsense

|Things I Never Dream Of|

 The whole idea of a Bucket List has been going around and popular for a number of years now, and I totally get it. I mean a list of things you plan to accomplish before you " kick the bucket" to say the least seems like such a nice thing. It gives you this sense of purpose. 

 Like most people I have a bucket list that is approximately 3 miles long if you combine a few things. It ranges from simple things like "Read my favorite book while I watch the sunset" to things that take a little more effort like, "Drink Tea in a minimum of 10 different countries" that one is going to be a little more tricky but the point is, I have all of these things written down (mentally, of course, killing 800 trees isn't on the list. But sitting here thinking about all of the things I want to do I came to realize, there are a lot of things I personally never want to be apart of. 

So I figured I'd write a few of the things on my anti-bucket list and give some reasons why I don't want to ever be involved in them...

1. Go on a cruise. I know, I know. "oh my god but it's so nice blah blah blah!" No. I'm sorry but I have 0 interest in being trapped in the middle of the ocean with a bunch of strangers. That's not a Vacation; sounds more like purgatory to me.

2. I absolutely, with no fiber of my being, find it at all appealing to EVER kiss someone in the rain. forget the fact that there is a risk of catching a cold or, I don't know GETTING STRUCK BY LIGHTNING. let's focus more one the fact that in no way will any normal human look like Rachel Mcadams in the notebook. Everyone knows makeup doesn't hold up well in rain and no ones hair looks nice after it's been poured one. Just saying.

3. Personally, I have no desire to ever own dog. I don't know why, I mean I don't mind dogs, but they are just not my cup of tea. And... they kind of smell like old garbage so I'll pass.

4. When I'm older. All out of college and living that cool adult life I never want to work just for the sake of working. Whatever career I choose I want that to be what I choose not because it will get me a ton of money but because just because that is what I love. So I guess what I really mean by this one is I don't ever want to give up my happiness for what other people say will make me happy.

5. I will never camp in a tent. Now, I love camping, don't get me wrong, but I love camping in like a camper, or maybe a cabin. You know a place with a shower and max bug protection. Why subject yourself to things like that when it's not needed.

6. I don't ever ever ever ever want to visit these weird american landmark tourist places. ex. The Grand Canyon. Why? I don't know. I always say I want to travel but when I say that the only thing I picture is other countries. These places here seem too close to home for me and I am not feeling it.

7. After graduation I never want to step a foot in my high school again. Not for a reunion, not to visit old friends/teachers. NEVER. 

8. I will never voluntarily put insects, snails, squid, or any other type of foreign animal thing in my mouth. call me uncultured, or close-minded I don't know. But I'm not doing it. It took me long enough to finally order my sushi raw. Baby steps 

9. I don't ever want to garden. There are people you can hire for a reason. Why am I going to kneel in my yard for long hours and play in the dirt when I can A. hire someone to do it, or B. Go buy an already potted plat. It's nonsense!

10. I don't want to run a marathon. I am not made for running, I'm barley made for walking. I feel like it's just something you can either do or you can't. Maybe I'll walk a few in my lifetime but I can promise you will never see me so much as jogging in something of this nature.

While there are more and these are only a few I could think of I feel it gets the point across. People set these goal and all these things they want in life but what about the things you don't want to do. Just think of all the stuff that you hate and compare it to all the stuff you love. Is it even? or Are you more of a lover than a hater?

                   -Until Next Time, XO

"We view the world in the way that we choose to."   

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Reaching My Limit | Basically Nonsense

|Female 18, Stressed Out & Done|

     I almost had nothing to write about this week. I was stuck, but I don't think it was because I was suffering from a bad case of writers block. I think that it's mostly because of my attitude of things lately. 

 I don't even know where to begin with the things going on right now. Maybe I can just start with school. First of all the Senior Class Counselors are pretty much useless. There is honestly no other way to describe them but, useless and rude! Let's start with last year, the end of my Junior year. I go to the counselor to start making my schedule for the next year and I have it all already planned. When I get there I was asked the normal question that everyone I'm sure is asked, " Do you know what you want to go to college for?" Now let's just begin by saying this is the stupidest question I have ever been asked, I am 18 years old, not even close to the halfway point in my life, and I have these people asking me to sit down in a chair and tell them how I want the rest of my life planned out! It's so frustrating. I don't know what will happen when I go to college or where I am going with my life. Sorry I didn't exit the womb with my life plan typed out in MLA format and all my reasoning cited. Anyway, I tell this woman what I tell everyone when they ask me, I want to get a Psychology degree. This conversation should have been done at this point right? NO! this adult woman who was hired by the public school system proceeded to scoff at my plans and say to me " I meant do you want to go to college for something that will get you a job, I'm pretty sure the garbage man has a psychology degree." HOW DARE HER! What does it matter whether or not I am going to get a job with that degree. I'm sorry I live in a place where every boy is either a fisherman or works at the chemical plant, and every female is a housewife or a nurse. Don't judge my life. I guess it is easy to get into the counseling business since these half taught rude bitches can do it.

So long story short, now I'm basically in a bunch of honors courses I didn't pick and that are dropping my GPA because it makes the school look better to have a higher ratio of honors kids. They've turned school into something that I can't stand to get up for in the morning. I should be embracing my senior year and hanging out with my friends and family before I go god knows where in a year. I shouldn't be home crying over a graphing calculator and turning in 4 page essays on the first week of school. And, on top of all of this when you go to them to ask if they can switch you to an easier class because it's just not possible; they pretty much tell you it's your fault that you don't understand and you " need to find more time to study" while also saying you should join after school activities so it looks good for college resumes. 

 So pretty much my life is stressful mess. I don't understand any of my pre-calc work because my teacher is the definition of a fucking idiot, my anxiety is through the roof because i'm in a school of 1700 people and my teachers seem to think that me not being able to talk in front of 30 people whom I've never spoken to is just my way of defying them and it's "disrespectful", and I kind of really want to be in a relationship because, well, I don't really know why. Maybe it's because everything else sucks so much and I need something good. But let's not talk about my love life, or lack of one. I'll save that for another post..

For now I'm just going to go read a good book and try to make the most of my senior year, as crappy as I know it's going to be. Maybe I'll try to make friends with more people and laugh a little more, but as of right now I'm signing off and going blast pop punk as a wallow in self pity.(lol)

      -Until Next Time, XO

" All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost. The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost." J.R.R. Tolkien

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Making Your Own Happiness | Basically Nonsense

|The Little Things|

FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY! It's finally Friday. That means the end of the first week of school, which I would rather not talk about because it was just as bad as you would think, and the first official Friday blog since i changed the posting date on here woo!

I wasn't sure what I was going to write about today. I mean, I could do the regular thing and talk about my senior year first week adventures, that's what I had planned, I could mention that I took this super attractive teachers class but I don't have him til my next semester, I could mention that super cute foreign exchange boy, or talk about how my school is so cold you could build a snowman in the classrooms; But I though that was so boring and just not what I wanted to recap. Then, as I walked into my third period fine arts class my teacher had up this quote by Lena Horne, " It is not the load that breaks you down, but the way you carry it.", that's when I got to thinking. Why sit here and complain about the same things I was complaining about last year, and the year before that, and every year since about 6th grade, when I can look at all the positive things that are going on on a daily basis instead?

So, I decided to write a list of the little things that make me happy and maybe they can help you be happier, or even find the things that help you carry your load the right way.

1. That one pen that writes so perfectly that you never want to use another one.

2. Standing on the edge of the water at the beach and letting the waves hit your ankles.

3.The smell of freshly cut grass.

4. A nice warm cup of tea and a good book

5. The window seat.

6. When little kids draw you pictures.

7. Getting something you ordered in the mail before it was supposed to be there.

8. Any kind of baby animal. (Even better if it's in real life so you can pet it).

9. Having exactly what you need exactly when you need it.

10. Walking in the park.

11. Having someone you really want to talk to talk to you first.

12. The half smile people give you when you make eye contact.

13. Boys who smell nice.

14. Painting.

15. Hugging someone taller than you.

16. When old ladies compliment you.

17. Falling asleep to the rain.

18. doing absolutely nothing on a Sunday

19. when all of the kernels in the popcorn bag pop.

20. Seeing someone who deserves it be happy.

21. Finding money you didn't know you had.

22.Clothes right out of the dryer.

23. Cats.

24. Actually getting real letters in the mail. Not just random things.

25.The first sip of your drink when you're really thirsty.

26.Waking up before your alarm.

27. People watching.

28. Smelling something familiar.

29. Laughing till it hurts.

30. Random dance parties with friends.

31. Fresh strawberries.

32. A perfect cup of coffee.

33. Being able to see the stars at night.

34. Fall weather.

35. Perfect Naps.

So that was just 35 of mine, and trust me I could go on forever. But, the point was that it doesn't matter whats going on at the current moment because there is always some brightness in the dark areas. don't let all the small negative things in life bother you so much. Enjoy what you have while it is still there....ha maybe I should learn to take my own advice occasionally.

          -Until Next Time, XO

" Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light."

 

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A Change Of Plans | Basically Nonsense

| From Daily To Weekly|

With my recent lack of personal time and the VERY fast approaching day that is school I have come to the realization that daily blogging is just not something I can keep up with at this present time. I have decided that what would be best for my self and for the content of this blog would be to just put out a post weekly. As can be seen in my last few post my content is getting worse by the day. I know I will be very caught up in after school commitments and AP classes so I think Weekly is an amazing choice. 

So, from this moment on ' You Daily Does' is going to be no more. I changed the title to 'Basically Nonsense' because well that's what this is. It's me talking nonsense most of the time on the internet do I found it fitting. I will leave my other post up and my blog will be all the same the only change will be that instead of daily there will be a post up every Friday evening.

so every Friday I will bring forth a lovely post closed off with my quote of the day. Maybe it will relate maybe it won't but as usual 

     -Until Next Time, XO.

"Don't count the days, make the days count."

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Teenagers | Your Daily Dose

|Trying To Clear The Confusion|

I hear it constantly. How this generation is reckless and they try to grow up too fast, but, are they really? 

 

 When you take a step back and look at your life it feels like 7 years old was yesterday. 2009 still feels like last year and I'm pretty sure I must have been in a coma for the past 6 birthdays because I don't remember this much time passing. I look at older people in my life and I realize they are almost done. Its not a very pleasant thing to say, I know, but it's true. No one lives forever and even if you want to live in a fantasy land where mom and dad live forever and you get to eat cookies in your hello kitty bedroom til the end of time it's just not how the world works. I don't think it's that this generation is "growing up too fast" I just think this generation is a lot smarter than they get credit for. These kids are trying to make the most out of what they have. They are growing up in a time that is full of split families and mental disorders. The kids in this generation see the world on a bigger plane. They can hop on to the internet and see tragedy from every corner of the world. So, I don't think they're reckless or stupid; I think they are aware. 

 

I know that one day I'm going to have to grow up and get a job. I won't be able to stay up til 3am doing things I'm going to regret the next day, or maybe not even remember. And know, that's scary. so If I want to ruin my liver and sleep my days away now I think there is nothing wrong with it. Just like there is absolutely nothing wrong with staying at home with your friends watching Netflix til the sun comes up. Everyone only gets one shot at growing up, only one shot at life and I think they deserve to do it however they please. 

* I know this blog was quick and all over the place but it's just a topic I think about often and whenever I try to put my thoughts about it into words it usually sounds weird so this is the best I could do. so, I'll let John Green close this off for me. I think he gets across what I'm really trying to say in this whole ramble.

"When adults say, "Teenagers think they are invincible" with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don't know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail." - John Green, Looking for Alaska

                     -Until Next Time, XO.

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My Unhealthy Dilemma | Your Daily Dose

| Saying It VS Doing It |

I can't be the only one who has been on this never ending journey to healthy living. I see all of these people who run 6x a week and drink half of the pacific ocean in water daily and I wonder, Was there a time when they struggled? When I started this kick of wanting to be healthier a few years back I thought it was going to be the easiest thing I ever did. I mean I was the kid who always ate ALL of my fruits and veggies. I loved them! While I did have my lazy moments as a child for the most part I loved all thing active. I'd jump on the trampoline for hours and run around my yard. I liked fruit juices and water ( soda wasn't something we kept in the house, and I'd request something green with every meal. So, why can't I just kick the Pizza and Coke now. You would think I'd be easy. I mean you can't teach an old dog new tricks but that doesn't mean he forgot the ones he already knew. Right?

  Well, apparently it is very possible to forget. I still love healthy food all the same but it's like over the years with new technologies being thrown my way and a fast food joint on every corner, it's impossible to do the right things anymore.

I wanted to change that. At least for myself. Freshman year of high school I was on a roll. But it wasn't a very good one. It consisted of Veganism which lasted for about eh, 3 days (I really like cheese). So, I tried being a vegetarian, that lasted a tad bit longer; I fancied the vegetables and I actually felt a little better, less headaches and things, but after about 2 weeks that was over and I was back on buffalo wings. I had realized that even while on these great health kicks I wasn't exactly being healthy. I mean being a vegetarian only lasted so long because cheese pizza was okay to eat. I had realized that I was terrible at being healthy and decided to give it up. 

As time went on I still had this nagging feeling telling me that I could do better so I started to eat more vegetables with my meals. Stuck to salad and yogurt instead of fries and ice cream. But just like every other time, I failed to stick with it. And on top of it I had never really kicked soda. Which had become, and still is, my biggest problem. 

It's not just what I'm putting in my body that is my problem either. It's what I'm putting out; which is absolutely nothing. I've tried all the workouts at this point Yoga, squats, cardio, lifting, pretty much everything, but I still never stick with it longer than a week. I'm usually too "busy" or "I'll do extra tomorrow to make up for it". I've realized that it's just not going to happen. I'm not active and there is nothing I can do about that really. Or is there? Because I i'm too busy to workout or cook a healthy meal but what am I too busy doing? Why do I have the time to order a pizza and watch 4 seasons of a show on Netflix but I don't have time to do sit ups and bake a piece of chicken? 

 I think it's a mind set. As a society we look for convenience in things but what we don't realize is we could be taking the same amount of time to walk around the block or drink a glass of tea. So, in order to get back on track this year, starting to day I'm going to set small reachable goals for myself. I'm not aiming to get fit or look any different than I do now. I'm not doing it for that. I'm doing it because I want to be healthier on the inside. 

So starting to day I've decided to start drinking more water and tea. I'll have soda but only once a week. depriving my self is not going to get me anywhere that's just going to make me want it more. I'm going to try to do at least one small active thing a day. Maybe do some squats in between shows I'm watching or maybe some leg lifts while i watch Netflix. I know it seems funny and not every effective but it's a start to something better. I'm not going to stop what I like doing to do other things. I'm simply going to add more things in. Like taking the stairs instead of the elevator. I'm also going to cut back on all these bad foods. I mean I'm still going to eat them on the reg do not be fooled but I'm going to try to eat more of the healthy foods in a day so the other ones seem more like a snack! The goal is to eventually be able to do only both in equal amounts but for now I'm just going to try it at my own pace and see what happens.

 You don't have the be great to start but you do have to start to be great.

        -Until Next Time, XO.

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A Day Off | Your Daily Dose

|Netflix & Food Parties|

Picture courtesy of my friend Shaye

Today was not particularly monumental. I got up, made breakfast, scrolled through my social media, wondering how the hell these people managed to post so much in a lousy 8 hours, then i got fed up and just searched the cute boys I was trying to stalk because that was honestly way more simple, Then I began to get ready for my day of fun. It's not what you think. It mostly consisted of me and my group of friends playing hide and seek in our school theater and eating pizza.

 I mostly making this blog to hold up on that promise for "daily blogs". Sometimes life is just poo though. I am now home and thumbing through Netflix not sure of what i want to watch. But I will say this. There are WAY more interesting blogs to come. I have them planned out and ready. I'm super excited to get this blog started and I honestly think I have it in me to juggle School, this blog, and my theater work. Fingers crossed. But I did take a few cute pictures of my outfit and I thought I would share that. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

  Also, I wanted to add. There has been this...let's call it a situation going on for a while now and I'm not even sure the root of the whole thing or why any of it happened. I've been waiting an entire summer for ANYONE to just tell me what the poop is going on but no one did and now everyone is pretending like nothing happened. I feel like I'm stuck in some crappy lifetime movie and I can't get out. I'm confused. Not sure if I'm still angry; I'm not really sure what to feel but I just cant seem to shake this feeling that forgetting about it like everyone else is pretending to do is not going to solve anything. I know people say forgive and forget but I feel like that is way easier said than done.                                       

“He was gone, and I did not have time to tell him what I had just now realized: that I forgave him, and that she forgave us, and that we had to forgive to survive in the labyrinth. There were so many of us who would have to live wit things done and things left undone that day. Things that did not go right, things that seemed okay at the time because we could not see the future. If only we could see the endless string of consequences that result from our smallest actions. But we can’t know better until knowing better is useless.”

—	Looking for Alaska by John Green

   -Until Next Time, XO.

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